If the Lord had not been on our side--

During the Stepping Up study by Beth Moore, I had to think through what life would have been like if the Lord had not been on my side (Ps. 124:1). I absolutely cannot imagine the disasters, chaos, and what-have-you I would have found myself in. I am so ever thankful that the good Lord stopped me dead on my tracks on a faithful January day back in 2000 - I was running away from life as I knew how with a baby boy in my arms. I didn’t know where to go or how to change the course of my life at the age of 26. So I did what came naturally to me.

I ran.

Filled with shamed for a host of reasons – running away was my escape. Only it didn’t solve anything. I took a 30 day old baby boy (now 8) and left for Florida at the invitation of someone there. I was to stay there for a month or two then my plan was to go to Atlanta – again by another invitation. I was so lost and in desperate need of rescuing.

My God, in his sovereignty, had other plans. For as long as I had all the cards and directing the course of my life – it looked ok – only it wasn’t.

When I see people that their lives are totally messed up in every sense of the word – so far removed from God. In fact, the only times they think of God is when they used his holy Name as a curse word. My heart aches for them. I think to myself – it could have been me. Where would I be today had the Lord not been on my side? In looking at them – I go back and think of life without the Lord directing it. No telling where I would be today.

I want to be forever grateful to you Father God for rescuing me from me. I was on a path towards destruction and you met there, a place you had appointed before the foundation of the world. Before you ever uttered the words ‘Let there be’ – the plan for redemption was set and my name was already written in the Lamb’s book of life before any of them came to be.

Psalm 124: 1-5 If the Lord had not been on our side-- let Israel say--
2 if the Lord had not been on our side when men attacked us,
3 when their anger flared against us, they would have swallowed us alive;
4 the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us,
5 the raging waters would have swept us away.

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Always with you

In what the theologians called the ‘Great Commission’ (Matthew 28:18-20) is embedded a beautiful promise. It is as follows:

…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.( Matthew 28:20b)

Lately I’ve caught myself repeating it over and over in my mind. Interestingly enough – I am not even doing it consciously. The word that seems to jump out the most is ‘always’. Could it be that the Lord is trying to tell me something? Somehow I know that God is with me but not necessary ‘always’ or put another way - not in the daily minute things of life. I wonder where He is when things don’t go too well.

The pages of Scriptures are filled with assurances from our heavenly Father that re-iterate over and over that He will never leave us or forsake us even when we can’t quite tell that He’s with us based on what life throws at us.

Some might say if He were with me why then…(fill in the blank). And for me it will be: if you are with me why do I report daily to a place where everything you are against is the norm and what you call evil is being worshiped and called good?

The truth is He promises to never leave us because our names are inscribed in the palms of His Hands and we are the apple of His eyes.

Help us Father to be God-conscious, to be more aware and mindful of your holy presence in us – always – no matter what.

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A glorious weekend

I have been so excited all last week anticipating the woman’s conference @ Brooklyn Tabernacle. And I was not disappointed. I went straight after work and was among the few people who arrived quite early to see Kay Arthur. The message was amazing. She was there with two of her four grand-daughters and she told of her visit to China town and how ‘nasty’ is the area referring to comments made – oh and she even got proposed to in China town.

Very often messages are about us, our happiness, and all the biblical principles that we can get out God’s word for ourselves. This message was about America that is on the brink of collapsing and how we need to make NO MORE EXCUSES, ARISE. That was the title of the message.

It was a hard message. But one that I needed and I have a feeling a lot of the other women there as well by their reaction. Anyone who has had the privilege of seeing (either via TV or in person) Kay knows she likes to dramatize her message in a way to make it memorable. We all gasped when she stumbled on the stage to show us how ‘Truth has stumbled in the street and uprightness cannot enter’, according to the prophet Isaiah. Because America does not want to know absolute truth but there are warnings for a country that sins against God and we are witnessing the signs of judgment.

America has sinned greatly and our days are very similar to the time of Judges which was one of the darkest time periods in Israel’s history. There were these cycles of sin in the day of Judges – a generation that did not know the Lord, they followed this pattern:

Apathy-----Apostasy ------Anarchy

And the people did according to what was right in their eyes. And this is our country today. It’s war and there is no retirement in the time of war. We are to make no more excuses and arise like Deborah and Jael did in days of Judges and bring truth. We have the truth of God’s word and people need to be warned.

To awake, we need a weapon. The weapon is the word of God.

Oh I waited at the end to meet her and we hugged and I had a chance to talk with her for about 5 minutes and words did come out of my mouth. The next morning I ran into her as she was getting off the elevator and we took a picture. Quality not so good because I misplaced my digital camera and had to get a disposable one and being it was indoor – totally did not help.

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Kay Arthur in town

Words are not enough to describe my joy and excitement this coming Friday and Saturday. My favorite and famous Kay Arthur will be in NY at the Brooklyn Tabernacle for a woman's event. I guess you could say it feels like the Deeper Still event in Atlanta. She always, always has a message in season. I cannot wait to hear the message that God has planted in her heart for us - for me.

Last December, she was at Calvary Baptist Church, and I got a hug. Yes - a hug from Kay Arthur. She is such a sweet lady. I stood there to have a book signed by her and she commented about the book and I said something I think that was really silly - like 'I need it'. I know what Peter felt like when he was on the mount of transfiguration with Jesus and saw Moses, Elijah speaking with the Lord and said:

'"Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters..."

I wanted to beat myself up. Her message then on being the daughters of Issachar was a life changing message. I anticipate God showing up mightily this coming Friday and Saturday.

Lord - open my eyes to see you and my ears to hear you - prepare my heart for your message. Let it fall on good ground so that it will produce a crop of a 100-fold . Speak Lord - your servant will be listening.

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Thinking of heaven

The mind of an 8 year old....

Brandon: can't wait to go to heaven?

Me: why is that?

Brandon: I need to see the new town God's been working.

Me: town?

Brandon: yeah - the Bible says he's making a new town. The new town where no one catches a cold, no sickness, no sleeping, no homework..

Well - might be because he needs to go to bed and it's way past his bedtime. When you don't want to go to bed - you start wishing heaven was here.

Come to think of it - I am longing for home as well primarily because I can't wait to see Jesus. The song titled 'Can't imagine' says it all.

There you have it.

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It's time for day camp...

Tomorrow will be the first day of a five-week camp as well as swimming lesson. I wish I had taken swimming lesson at some point in life because I am totally helpless in that area. My Brandon is very excited about it he can barely stand it. Time is not flying fast enough for him to make new friends.

All the clothes are ready for first (swimming) then (camp). A week full of excitement is ahead. I will not be there on the sideline as originally planned as I start my 2nd week of work. But I am thrilled that he'll be in 7th heaven. There will probably be about a dozen missed calls on my cell phone by the time he gets home from swimming which is a 3 minute or less car ride.

Herein begins a new adventure for an 8 year old that hopefully he will remember in years to come and in case he should forget - I will direct him to this blog.

That's it folks!

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